Shadow Poetry

Letter to Chronic Pain

I think it’s time to write an angry letter
I’m tired of this non-life
I want to get better

I meditate and write
Go to therapy
I fight

I give it my all, I keep going, I tried
Gave away all my dreams
All my dignity and pride

I did everything you said
But I’m still here
Stuck in bed

I wake to this nightmare, barely remember
Remember what it was like
To breathe, to be her

The me who could stand, could choose
Growing and becoming
Everything to lose

I need and I miss her so very terribly
Don’t abandon me like this
Don’t leave me
Don’t leave me

I’m not living, not alive
My heart beats
But it’s a lie

I’m trapped inside this pain
Kicking, screaming
I’m going insane

Round and round I go
You say you understand
But most don’t know
Most don’t know

What it’s like to choke and burn alone
With no help working, no end in sight
Where joy is unknown

Everything out of sync, clock without time
Like a poem without purpose
Without rhythm
Without rhyme

Be more grateful, more positive, you say
Like I’m not clawing and clinging
To hope every day

It takes all I have to pretend I’m okay
Smile to make you feel better
I’m fading away

I want to write an angry, desperate letter
But to whom do I write?
We just want to get better

By Daphne Shadows


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