the words

i have more words

i just don’t know what they are yet

 

and i don’t want to scream into the abyss just to scream

just for it to see me too

i want to really say something

i want your heart to pound

eyes to water

 

i want you to look over your shoulder at night when you’re alone, in the dark, and you hear a sound

i want you to feel

i want to feel

 

and it scares me

scares me that we are so disconnected

even though we’re all breathing the same air

beating the same blood through veins

screaming with the same lungs

touching with the same skin

 

this spider has us wrapped so tightly in her web

and it scares me

there’s nowhere for me to run

from this consciousness that causes so much scorched land

broken promises and forced agreeance

 

but if we can see it

the web

the trappings

the subtle paralytic wrapping and wrapping and wrapping

we are free

 

but i don’t know the words

and i’m afraid

(aren’t we all?)

that no one is listening anyway