Stream of Consciousness

stop trying to find your purpose

instead, find yourSELF
then find the purpose you have currently

purpose, purpose, purpose
it’s bloody EVERYWHERE

and believe you me, i get it!
i have bipolar depression. not having purpose can kick up some scary questions, mind states, and thought processes.
but how can you find what you’re meant to do if you’re actively ignoring and/or out of touch with YOU?

one of my favorite phrases of all time is, “know thyself”.

many people dislike this phrase because it expects us to know ourselves in and out, they reason. which, if you’re a human being, you know is impossible. but i think that sort of thinking is akin to throwing the baby out with the bath water.
knowing yourself is a GOOD IDEA.
what triggers you? what pisses you off? what do you enjoy? love? hate? what brings a smile to your face? when do you know you’ll get impulsive? what are your weaknesses? strengths? desires? values? goals? plans? consistent behaviors and decisions?
when we’re upset, we tend to want to change or fix someone else. but often times, changing ourselves to grow into who we want to become, will give us a far richer life. one where we’re not so focused on, and magnifying, all of the things and emotions which upset us. those never go away, of course. but knowing yourself allows you to live from a more stable foundation. to actively reach for what you want with clarity of mind, body, and feeling.

but its fluid.
we are, after all, human.
who we are today will not be who we are next year. we are not who we were last january. we just aren’t.
change is a constant. whether we’re growing in a direction we want or not, is up to us.

so before you get caught up in feeling like a terrible person, a loser, an idiot, someone without ambition or know-how or a reason for existing… poke at who you are. poke at who you’re becoming. at what angers you. what fills you with joy. how you want to impact the world. how you want to better yourself and help others.

a funny thing happens.
it gets easier to choose what you want your purpose to be, or to recognize it.
and never forget, your purpose changes. just like you.

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