can I take this knife
and end my life?
or if I take this pill
will you hate me still?
alone and forsaken
you’ve taken and taken
trapped in this body
I just want to be free
to carve my own path
instead, fearing your wrath
you hand out golden tickets
leave me broken trinkets
I give it all I’ve got
can’t be what I’m not
never ending rotation
I feel a failed creation
not allowed to go
better, I ought to know
so I put down the knife
beg you for real life
it’s all still in vain
never ending pain
you’ve hollowed me out
punish me for doubt
move forward, I try
every night I cry
beg for an answer
til hope is a cancer
fool myself for a while
make others smile
but my bed remains empty
and a void bank enslaves me
get up, survive
abstain, deprive
routine, clock in,
cook, sleep, again
I know I’m meant for more
but you never open that door
work hard, reward
snake oil, I was sold
a small ember, flickering
kicked too much, whimpering
I know what I need
and for it I plead
but I wake to the same
never ending game
I want the real thing
hopeless, to hope, I cling
by Daphne Shadows
Daphne Shadows 
It awesome