Stream of Consciousness

you know it, i know it, let’s all take a nap

get out of your own way

YOU know what you need

YOU know what you want

you know what your heart and mind are fighting for within you

 

the hard thing is

everything

is easier said than done

 

and the world?

there are nasty people that want to make it harder for you

people who want to crush you

step on you

confuse you until you don’t know who YOU are

 

but you have your own power

it might not feel like it

it might feel like you cannot wield it

but you can

somewhere, deep down, you know you can

even if it’s a shriveled little lump of dead, unused muscle

you can exercise it

get stronger

 

and let’s not forget

there are GOOD people too

people who want to love you

support your, empower you

there’s hope

you just have to find it, fight for it

and learn to rest

 

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Stream of Consciousness

what to do?

what do you do when your reserves are bone dry

and all the answers you’ve received aren’t helping?

 

what do you do when your best just isn’t good enough

and your hard work and effort haven’t produced anything?

 

how do you live when you’re caught between a deluge of pain

and the struggling knowledge that you need to be, you must be optimistic and hopeful?

 

how do you live

when all the energy you have left is going to survival?

 

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Micro Stories

Dark Blue Whispers

sometimes the handlebars are underground

and the only way to find the map is to go back to the liquor store and make a different decision

that’s where they found us

trading in an old life

for free will and laughter

the choice to make our own mistakes

instead of suffer the consequences of theirs

 

their boots shook the ceiling

the threat of return to where we used to be

sending blood through our veins in a fiery dance

because we knew

there was no going back

 

we found the back door beneath the closed sign and ran, never looking back

if we did

perhaps they’d convince us to stay, that we didn’t need our tongue anyway

and our eyes would only mislead us

we could use theirs

for a price

but no

we ran, eyes firmly on the blurry promises ahead of us

hand in hand, because getting lost is so easy

when all the signs forgot their arrows

 

it was only when we made it past the river

under the cover of the places they call forbidden

knowing full well

(they always knew the truth)

our cure resided here

it’s only then we realized

we can breathe fire

and hear the trees

whispering in darker hues of blue

 

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**this micro story was named by a patron 🖤

Photos

let the decay, decay

while i’m having a mental breakdown, i’m just going to leave this here for you

i took them a few weeks ago and about a year ago

i’m trying to find my way back to myself through creativity

through art

i’m trying to find myself with the only lifeline i’ve got left – that something else, that passion that bites into your blood and wakes you in a lovely frenzy, certain you can take a sword to whatever stands in your way, that aliveness which i haven’t felt in so long

i’m grasping at strands and holding them to my chest until they grow into something more, something thicker, something that crawls into my pores and seeps into my muscles, binding with my bones until i’ve become

until i’ve become

 

well… apparently i had something to say today

who knew

here’s those photos i promised up at the top

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Stream of Consciousness

fight

give yourself credit

forgive your past mistakes

let go of what you think makes you unworthy or unlovable

 

you matter

you’re needed

don’t give up on yourself or your dreams

 

fight

even if fighting means all you do is get up and do what you can – fight

even if you don’t feel it

hope for it

even if you can’t hope or trust or believe or find it in yourself to feel anything good at all – keep going.

keep moving and the feeling will eventually follow

 

don’t give up on yourself

 

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Stream of Consciousness

i’m sick of love songs that forget to love

i’m taking my name back and reminding myself

i am lovable

 

i am unknowable

an open book

 

i am honest

honestly, it hurts

 

i am ready and willing

the perfect imperfection

just messing up their plans

destroying their picture perfect

 

they don’t know we lurk in the dark of night

where their lies glow with angry hues

highlighting their true nature

 

we laugh, free, alive

awake

we cry in our hearts for the blindfolds they so happily slip on

but we can’t stop living because they’d rather not

we must burn down the boxes

and rise up

willing

to

be

 

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