*a note on positive affirmations

we can edit them.
that’s it.
that’s the secret. at least, it is for me.

you see, when i first heard about positive affirmations, i could’ve caused an earthquake across the universe with as hard as i rolled my eyes.
uh, no. i cannot think myself into a different reality.
and no, no i cannot. neither can you. i can tell myself the sky is yellow every day, all day. and guess what? it’s still blue.

so what’s the point of affirmations?
why have i begun using them (at the suggestion of my therapist)?
what does editing an affirmation mean?

when i first poked at affirmations – they felt like a lie.
if you know me, honesty is a HUGE importance. in everything. always. intent, trust… these things make or break a relationship for me. including my relationship with myself.

so when it was suggested i use the affirmation, “i am kind to myself”, i balked at it.
it felt dishonest. because it was. i was just lying to myself. which is why i never used it. or any other popular affirmation.

but once i started looking into neuroscience and listening to growth podcasts and listening to high performance coaches, i realized there was absolute, obvious truth to self talk.
and what is self talk? either negative or positive affirmations.
(if you don’t feel comfortable with the term “positive affirmation”, you can simply say “positive self-talk”. same thing)

after coming to the conclusion that my therapist knew what she was talking about (i already believed that, i just didn’t know how to healthily wrap my mind around this subject), i decided to do what i always do, with everything.
i edited it.

something doesn’t work for me but science/behavioral studies/common sense backs it up?
i pick it apart and put it back to together in different ways until i find one that resonates with me.
and i did.

i found a way to say positive affirmations without them being a lie.

instead of repeating, “i am kind to myself”, i said, “i am working toward being kind to myself”. or “i am a kind person based on facts, even though my emotions are confused. that is okay, i am still learning”.
things like that.

i would turn the affirmations, or self-talk, around until it was both positive and honest.
and it’s working.

what are some affirmations you’d like help re-writing or subjects you’d like turned into positive self-talk?


💚affirmation for love💚

we brainwash ourselves.
(true story)
our parents/caregivers brainwash us.
(also a true story)

whatever we think – our brain takes it as fact. and begins searching for proof to back it up. and guess what?
our brain is bloody EXPERT at finding what it’s searching for.

so why not actively feed your brain what YOU want it running on?
this is where positive talk *ahem* positive affirmations come in.

we are simply programming or feeding our brain nutritious food. instead of self-hate, re-abuse (based on the abuse we’ve experienced, then copied and pasted into our blueprint for living), unhealthy beliefs, and negative social and familial pressures.

so, here’s an affirmation (a dose of positive thoughts for you to administer to your brain) for love.

“I am worthy of receiving love from within and without. I am now open to attracting the successful love I desire.”

**this affirmation is brought to you by yours truly (me, Daphne Shadows) and a lot of therapy.