Stop Asking Why – We Already Know

You want to know why.

You make fun.

Make jokes.

Demean.

 

I think it’s because we know the “dream” isn’t real.

We’ve been told there’s no hope.

Don’t follow your dreams. Get a good, solid job that will pay the bills.

Don’t even bother trying to do anything you enjoy. It won’t happen. Following your dreams, working toward making them a reality, that will end you up alone, living in the gutter, and dead as a no one, with no one at your funeral.

We’re told that in order to survive (have money for college, have a place to live, have the support we need to have a chance at surviving at this life) we need our parents’ financial support. And more and more I’m seeing that parents use this to berate, manipulate, and abuse their children. But their children can’t do anything but what their parents’ desire or else. Or else no money for college. No place to live. No way to live.

We’re told by society that there is no way we can find a life we want. There is no way that we can attain the body we want, the job we want, the relationship we want. We’re told there is no healthy relationship, no enjoyable job that also pays the bills, no way to enjoy food and not be fatter than a Wall-E person (kid’s movie, google the humans at the end if you don’t know what I mean).

 

I know that I can only know what I’ve experienced. I only have the information from the lives within my world and the life I’ve lived. But how can I know so many people of all ages, genders, beliefs, social classes, etc., and we’ve all had the same experiences?

I’m not bashing on any one people or generation. I’m saying, look around. We’re not falling apart at the seams. We’re tearing each other apart and if anyone says anything, oh, they’re being dramatic. Cue eye roll.

 

We’re not people-ing right, people.

We’re taking brand new babies, grabbing a megaphone, and screaming into their faces that there is no point to life – get a job you can use to survive, and don’t expect to not be stressing over having enough money to survive.

We’re brainwashing each other that life sucks and that’s just how it is.

“Those” people – you know, the ones who went for their “unrealistic” dreams and took the risks of following their dreams and are now living quite happily – they only happen every once in a while, and we’re not good enough to ever attain that. So don’t bother trying. You will fail.

 

We ask why there are so many people living in their mothers’ basements, playing video games and refusing to get a job and deal with life.

We ask why there are so many grown adults living with family.

We ask why there are so many men and women who spend every dollar on distractions.

 

Because we’ve been told we can never have a fulfilling, healthy, joyful life filled with meaningful relationships and times of peace. Instead, we’re told…

Everyone has the right to our every moment (we had better answer our phone immediately).

Everyone is better than us.

Work is the only point of life (so don’t bother trying to have a life – just work, and never expect to get paid enough to do much more than struggle not to drown).

Love hurts, settle for whoever will put up with you.

You can’t change. Don’t bother trying. It doesn’t matter that you want to grow and become – you’re who you are and can never gain skills or successes.

Life sucks. Don’t fight it.

 

Can we stop asking why so many people are sleep walking through life and committing suicide.

Can we stop making fun of people for having mental health issues, employment issues, for living with family, for trying to escape the life they’ve been told will never amount to anything and will always 100% only hurt.

Can we START treating each other with respect, dignity, and compassion?

Can we START lifting others up, filling them with the strength to create the lives they want to live?

Can we START influencing people to tap into the potential they have lying dormant within themselves?

Can we START valuing people and dreams and belief?

Can we START making life worth living?

 

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Open Up

Some people will tell you, you’re not enough, not worthy.

They are wrong.

You are beautiful. You are good enough.

Open up. Be vulnerable, even if you get hurt. Don’t sign yourself up for getting hurt. But don’t close yourself off from everything real because it risks the sting of a broken heart.

You have an undeniable boatload of potential.

You are eons of life stuffed into a small carry on that people want to stuff in a box and ignore. They’re afraid you’re brilliant.

Be brilliant. Be you.

What To Do

when you don’t know what to do.

Rise.

Keep trying.

Pick a new plan, route, goal, decision.

Rest.

Keep trying.

Search for your purpose.

Keep searching.

Keep resting and trying.

Enjoy life.

No, really.

Have fun.

Help someone else (because you want to).

Rise.

Keep trying.

My Reality

Is pretty goofy sometimes. Intense other times. But I’m still a whole being. Wholly me, no matter how many contradictory moods I exist within.

We are born to feel a spectrum of emotions, become a spectrum of moods and current motivations and dreams.

Never feel you have to exist within one box. There are no boxes, except the ones societal rules create for us.

But we are infinite flurries of majestic and chaotic energies rushing in and out of the forms we choose.

We are flourishing in madness, we are taming our own sanity, create when the world tries to destroy.

We are not only good enough, we are more. We can be goofy and sexy, serious and humorous, spontaneous and responsible. Interested in animals and racing, dancing and botany, literature and painting. We never have to pick a box.

Be you. And if you is a little weird, so be it.

Because goofy filters are SO much fun. 🤣

What Do You Want?

I don’t want to be someone who, at the end of their life, regrets not having lived.

I don’t want to go to my grave filled with shame and guilt and woe.

I don’t want to live my life as a woman who allows her challenges and demons to decide her mood and daily choices.

I don’t want each day to be filled with rigid rules created by societal judgy-ness, resentment, and jealousy.

I want to be able to breathe. To feel my own two feet on the ground and know they and my Higher Power can and will support me – if I trust, believe, have faith, if I have hope. Not just in God but in myself.

I often forget about that part.

To believe in myself.

We can wake up and, instead of dreading the coming day, choose joy. Hope.

We can take responsibility for how we feel and how we shape our lives.

This seems overwhelming at times. But baby steps are how we win at every day, every moment.

We are strong enough.

We are good enough.

We can make simple changes in habitual thinking patterns, morning routines, after-work routines, relationships (with others and ourselves), our self image, and so on.

I want so much more out of life.

And so it’s up to me to do something constructive about that. To work toward it.

Today, I hope you know this isn’t a pointless existence. That the humdrum bustle and stress, the rat race and cruel jokes of fate – they aren’t all there is.

As Walt Whitman said,

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large — I contain multitudes.”

We are so much more. We can have so much more.

Our potential for joy and motivation, change and growth in a direction we crave – what we truly desire – it is lying dormant, waiting for our embrace.

I choose more.

What about you? What choices are you making? Because we mustn’t forget that not choosing, is a choice.

Love Letter

Whatever you feel you cannot overcome, you can.

Whatever you feel you can’t survive, you will.

Whatever you feel makes you weak, can make you strong.

Whatever you fear makes you unlovable, makes you human and relatable.

Whatever challenge in your life feels like it will never end, it will.

Whatever or whoever has left you feeling empty and hopeless and broken and incapable of picking yourself back up so that you can keep going… it doesn’t matter what or who it is, they cannot win. Because you are so much more than who you were yesterday, then what you feel in this moment. You are so much more than your fears for tomorrow and the anxieties that you wake up to.

It does matter how afraid you are. How filled with worry you are. How much pressure you feel. It does matter that you feel terrified to fail, to let someone down, to let yourself down. It does matter that you feel alone or empty or broken.

Everything you feel matters.

But what you feel is what you feel. Your emotions are not your identity.

Do you notice yourself thinking, “I am angry”? That’s not accurate. You are who you are. You feel anger. That anger does not define you.

So when you feel broken. You are not broken. You are simply resting and recovering and grieving and preparing. You are growing stronger, gaining new experience, learning what does not work, building an extra layer of skin.

Every time you feel like you cannot keep going, you can.

I am not saying it will be easy. I am not saying there are any magic words that will take all the pain away and make you feel strong and in control and “all together”.

What I’m saying is, stay true to yourself. If you feel exhausted, you have the right to feel exhausted. Allow yourself to feel that. But it doesn’t define who you are. It’s simply defines what you’re in the process of overcoming.

Do you ever take a look at what you’ve already overcome? At the situations and relationships and challenges in life that you thought were impossible or would never end? You’re here now. You overcame them. They ended.

You can do this.

You can fight for the life, the job, the relationships, the identity you want.

But you have to believe you deserve it. I’m here to tell you that you do. You deserve all the beauty this world has to offer you.

But you also deserve all the suffering it has to offer to you. Because there’s no way for us to get strong if there is no pain involved. There is no growth if some part of us does not grow old and stagnant and die.

There is no rebirth if part of us doesn’t die first.

The pain will end. You will continue to get stronger. You can find a way to navigate this life and still enjoy it.

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