The WordPress prompt for today is “lovingly”. (I’ve never tried a daily prompt before, so I checked their page out.)
The first thing that I thought of was a baby lizard I found when I was a munchkin. I carried the lizard around for hours until my grandmother convinced me to let it go back where I found it.
I wanted to take care of it. I wanted to keep the lizard safe and happy.
“If you love it,” she said, “let it go”.
It’s funny to me that my child brain understood that.
How did I understand that?
There was so much pain and fear going on in my life as a child – but I understood love.
I wanted that little lizard to be happy, so I put it back on the fence where I found it, hoping it made it back to its family and lived happily and safely.
I was a little sad to let it go, but I was confident that it would be better off in its lizard world, not my human one.
This prompt brought a few animal memories back to me.
I never realized how much I wanted a baby animal to keep and play mom to. I was always dreaming of finding a bird egg and keeping it, hatching it, and raising the little bird in its own little habitat I’d create for him/her.
I never wanted to be a mom to an actual human baby. As a child, I wanted a fluffy little bird, duck, lizard, owl, kitten, or something wild that I’d find outside and keep. I had this overwhelming urge to find and protect every little animal I came into contact with.
Of course, if you take me to a shelter now, I have the same reaction. Maybe a bit more psycho. I want to take all the dogs home!!!
I find it interesting that my small, child self understood love on such a pure level. I remember the feeling it evoked. Love was something beautiful and perfect. It was a balm, a safety that couldn’t be contested. And I always equivocated it with animals.
(wrote this sometime early February)