I love horror movies. It’s what I grew up on. But horror movies have lost their majesty for me lately. Why? In short; They suck.
They all follow the same basic plot:
(Person/group of persons) are (attacked/tied to supernatural/horrific creature/incident) and (fight to get out of/break free from/kill the horrific problem).
They donât.
They all die.
The end.
It feels like the person writing the horror movie is flipping me off.
Not to mention itâs boring. And I donât bore easily, so thatâs saying something.
HOPE FOR HORROR MOVIES?
Holly-mallow brought a movie home from school from one her friends, who all are avid horror movie watchers, and Iâm very glad she did.
The movie was âMamaâ and while not the most terrifying and not the most horrific in terms of the creature, not the quickest or slowest at build up or suspense, it had a good plot. It wasnât annoying or stupid. The characters didnât do stupid things that EVERYONE IN STUPID HORROR MOVIES DO, they didnât have the stereotypical characters doing stereotypical things. And the ending was great. It had a down point â so it still kept to the horror movie tradition of not having the âhappy endingâ but I liked the ending. And I wanted to watch it again.
Another horror movie I saw within the past year or so and liked was âInsidiousâ. It was creepy, people didnât do stupid, annoying things, and everyone didnât die at the end.
You know that movie, âCabin in the Woodsâ? It had some major stereotypical stuff going on and everyone died in the end but it didnât annoy me. Sure, I wouldnât watch it again because I donât think it was that good of a movie, but the stereotypes and the dying in the end â it meant something. It told me something, it made me think about humanity and how far people are willing to go to keep themselves safe.
If you want to write a tragedy, write a tragedy. But tragedy and horror are two different genres! The occasional tragic horror is all fine and dandy but every single one?
Horror is supposed to expose the truths we donât want to take a look at. Itâs supposed to disturb us, creep us out, show us things that could really happen and scare us into taking a closer look at the âmonstersâ. Horror isnât meant to be only superficial scare tactics. Horror should MEAN something, tell us something, expose something, make us think. Â Fear can tell us so much about ourselves, society, and how far weâre willing to go to stay safe. Horror takes the deepest, darkest part of human nature and pokes at it. And then hopefully it shows someone rising above it, above the darkness and fighting it. Whether they all fail or not isnât the point, itâs that they tried.
But when every movie ends with them failing, and is filled with nothing but the superficial, it loses its entire point for existence.
When every single horror movie, book, and show is made for shock value â lots of sex, lots of blood, lots of gore, lots of screaming â and no plot or characters to make you think, or that you even care about, it loses its value.
There was a guest post on Kristen Lamb’s blog the other day and I read it after writing this up (I wrote this post three weeks ago) and couldn’t agree with her guest blogger more. I also find it interesting that we were thinking the same thing as the same times, but I digress. You can find it here – really go read it, then you’ll know I’m not the only person who thinks horror should have meaning.
So because I find it impossible to rant about something without getting goofy as well, AND I find myself laughing more than being creeped out with the past seven horror movies I’ve seen, here are some things that drive me nuts about horror movies that I think have gone past being overused, stripped of their value, or just make me throw objects at the tv. Because, come one, I’m not going to throw food. Food is good.
HORROR MOVIE CLICHES
This is how itâs going to go downâŠ.
- Blond or have a rack? You’re so going to die first.                          Â
- Having sex? Someone is going to kill you.
- Are you annoying and everyone is yelling at the screen, wishing you would die already? Yeah, youâre going to live.
- The hot chick that mysteriously looks perfect and has a bad attitude? Sheâs going to get you alone and eat your heart out by sucking it out of your earlobes. And no one is going to suspect her.
- âHey! Iâve got a good idea! Letâs split up!â *headdesk*
- She is not going to remove her high heels. And sheâs going to trip. And then crawl instead of getting up again and running.
- The âDeer in Headlightsâ moment:Â Someone pointing a gun at you/coming at you with a sharp object? I know â youâre not going to move. Youâre going to stare at them and whimper, like thatâs going to save you.
- Your flashlight and/or cell phone? Itâs going to die the EXACT moment you need it.
- Everyone is going to ignore all the coincidences.
- âMy car wontâ start!â
- The killer is stalking you. Itâs silent. Youâre hiccupping, screaming, whimpering, begging, MAKING LOTS OF NOISE, because thatâs not going to help the killer locate you.
- Iâm being chased. Hey â why donât I run up the stairs, where thereâs no way to escape and effectively trap myself? Yeah, that sounds like a marvelous plan.
- The protagonist just escaped the axe murderer who wants to shape her into a living doll/eat her intestines while sheâs still alive/stitch her into his mattress – whatever. But when she escapes and wanders around the silent building looking for her friends who were also captured, sheâs going to call out, âIs anyone here?â But donât worry because the killer is totally deaf.
- When the killer has a gun? It never runs out of bullets.When the “good guys” have the gun? Two shots fired and youâre out of bullets.
- The laws of gravity no longer work.
- âSudden Case of Consciousâ. Yes, the person who just drilled a hole in your baby sister with a potato peeler, is not doing it on purpose and the demon inside them just went *poof*. Itâs your girlfriend again. Really. Donât kill her. Sheâs sooo sorry, and doesnât know whatâs going on.
YES some of these are funny and do not bother me. Some of them are used really well and some are very realistic. (I mean come on â youâre panicked, youâre running through the woods â itâs likely that youâre going to trip. But holy hell, you didnât break your leg, you can get up and run some more.) Â When you put them ALL or most of them in EVERY SINGLE HORROR MOVIE? Not so much.
So hereâs for hoping more horror movies come out with interesting characters, a good plot, as well as spooky atmosphere, creepy creatures, and twisted endings where everyone doesnât die, leaving you wondering why you rented this stupid movie.
Grrr. đ
Do you think horror movies should have some meaning to them?
Are you fine with the clichĂ©s and âletâs kill everyoneâ endings?
Did I miss any horror movie clichés? Which ones annoy you the most? Which ones do you like?
Any good horror movie recommendations?