Stream of Consciousness

Halloween (and lost weight)

By the way, this was me on Halloween night. I was wearing glow in the dark skeletal shorts underneath, only I didn’t realize they were glow in the dark until I put them on that night. I was worried I’d be walking down the street and my butt would start glowing. Thank the Halloween stalker demons that it didn’t.

(Yes, this is me bragging that I lost all that stupid weight. Don’t fall over, have heart failure, or drop your gremlin dentures. I’m allowed to brag now and again. And yes, I’m standing in front of my own front door like a totally dorky chick. Cuz I’m totally dorky.)

 

Daphne Shadows Halloween 2015
Daphne Shadows Halloween 2015

 

What did you guys do for Halloween?

Because chocolate.

Anything Halloween-like that you want to share with me?

Any ghost stories you particularly like? Anything creepy?

What did you guys dress up as? (if you dressed up) Any adorable munchkins or fuzzy munchkins dress up this year?

 

ALSO – people please remember that Thanksgiving comes before Christmas. Have some gratitude before you stomp people to death looking for presents.

Oh – and who else thinks “The Nightmare Before Christmas” is both a Halloween and a Christmas movie???

Any plans for Thanksgiving?

 

Wow, that was a lot of really random questions.

Anyone have any really random (but related) answers?

Stream of Consciousness

Honestly, I have Nothing to Offer, Except…

HONESTLY, I wouldn’t wash my hair if I didn’t have to. It’s so annoying, hair gets all over, I have to wait eight millennia’s  for it to dry, and brush it out at just the right time or it sheds  more hair all over and drives me insane. But, if I don’t wash it I begin to look like I could squeegee my hair out and oil your truck… so I figure it’d be a good idea to wash it. Plus, I look less naked-mole-rat and more human when it’s clean. But Jeeze! I’d love it if hair just stayed clean.

 

I absolutely love waking up sore from a good work out. Absolutely love it. So then, of course you see me walking around all weird-like, stretching limbs out in odd places, stretching my back, arching my back, leaning forward, stretching my legs out to the side…. Randomly. Because it feels good.

Because that doesn’t totally look strange.

 

“Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it just makes me free.” Anonymous

 

So, would someone like to give me the recipe for this?
So, would someone like to give me the recipe for this?

 

I love going to therapy! That probably makes me sound like more of a crazy person than I am, but it’s so true. If I could joyfully yell it from a hilltop, head thrown back, arms stretched skyward, I would. Except, then people would probably wonder if maybe I shouldn’t have left therapy, and I don’t want people thinking I’m a different kind of crazy than I am.

But yeah. I love therapy. I don’t want to stab people as often. 😉

 

Humans are so impressionable. No wonder it’s so easy for the monsters to win us over, to get us, to sneak up and slip into our skin or rip it open.

But humans are the monsters.

Exactly. There’s one in all of us. And we let it take over without much of a fight, now don’t we?

 

HONESTLY, the truth of the matter is really quite funny.

It’s the reality so many don’t want to accept. Don’t want to see. We They don’t want it to be real as they cling to their chains and shriek out the pain, woe is me, where is the answer? as they hug the cold metal harder.

There are no rules.

Where does this puritanical urge come from to believe I must be miserable, suffering, in pain – or I must be doing something wrong? If I’m not in agony, I’m not a good person, I’m not fighting the good fight. If I don’t burn with the angst of never-to-triumph fire, I must not be trying.

No one is holding a gun to my head, telling me I must suffer.

No one is threatening to burn my family alive and rip my heart out while I scream and thrash in some Mayan ritual.

So why the bloody hell do I feel the need to suffer?

Life isn’t fair because everyone plays by ‘life isn’t fair’ rules.

Human choice is an underappreciated privilege.

 

I looooooove chocolate. Does anyone else put chocolate in the fridge or freezer before eating it? That doesn’t count for things like oreos or hohos though.

Also… I no longer like cake. And who doesn’t like cake? Well, my papa doesn’t, but he likes pie and ice cream, so it all evens out. Anyway, I don’t like cake anymore, not of any kind. Really freaking weird.

 

I am finally understanding that no one is perfect. No one has it all under control or is at the point where they’re like people in story books, fairytales, or movies: 100% sure of themselves and handling challenges perfectly.

No one.

No one is, by my definition, someone I agree with and want to emulate 100% of the time.

Everyone makes mistakes.

It never occurred to me. Some people, I’ve been believing, are people they’re not.

For some ridiculous reason I thought they never royally messed up or lost their cool, handled things poorly or made mistakes. I thought they were agreeable all the time and never said or did (or even thought) anything I consider judgmental or careless.

I mean, I knew they had challenges and trials – every human being does.

But I honestly thought they never made the “I screwed up” kind of mistakes.

It’s finally sinking in that everyone one of us does this. We’re all totally human and struggling to do our best (well, those of us who are trying). We’re all messing up and trying to get back up and do better.

It’s helped me see more people as beautiful and good. They’re trying. But they’re human, just like me, messing up and learning. No one has got this thing called ‘life’, down.

No one.

 

Since I was a child, I’ve been fascinated with rocks, crystals, gemstones. When I was a kid, I had a huge tub I kept under my bed filled with rocks I found. I couldn’t even lift it towards the end there, it was so heavy. I don’t know what ever happened to all those rocks.

 

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I love geodes. Yet, I have none. The horror.

 

 

“Writers are desperate people and when they stop being desperate they stop being writers.”  – Charles Bukowski

 

“We cannot all succeed when half of us are held back.” Malala Yousafzai

HONESTLY, I am tired of this. I do not care that you are black and I am white. I do not care that you are male and I am female. I do not care that you are Mexican, Guatemalan, Puerto Rican, Japanese, Chinese, Persian, Apache, Russian, British… and I am white. I do not care that you are twenty-nine, seventy-eight, ninety-three, twelve… and I am in my early twenties. I do not care if you have less or more money than me. I do not care if you have red hair, dyed hair, or fake hair.

I do not care.

I do not care.

I do not care.

We are all human. I believe all human lives matter.

I am sincerely tired of hearing that only one kind of life matters.

I believe we should all be fighting for each other, fighting for humane treatment of human beings, regardless of color or gender.

We are all human.

 

Let’s just get this straight. When I refer to ‘monsters’, I’m talking about one of two kinds of monsters.

One, bad people.

Two, creatures from stories and movies and myths which are dangerous and I absolutely love.

 

“I have nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” Jack Kerouac

Stream of Consciousness

Hotel Hell #6 – Not a Snowball’s Chance in Hell

This Month’s Recap: we were given a week to get out of Hotel Hell, we called tons of people but were turned down even though we have no money. Down to four days to get out and a miracle struck. We secured the next two months and told everyone we were safe. People started rolling their eyes and insinuating we freaked out for attention. I got a little opposite of happy.

I made use of my flamethrower. =D

We didn’t know we’d be able to stay. We thought we’d be out on our butts and we were one dilemma away from a nervous breakdown. If you think we’re being ridiculous, answer me this question. When was the last time you thought life was leaving you without a place to live? Better yet – when was the last time it happened four times in a row and all anyone did was roll their eyes and call you drama queen? The threat of being kicked out of a bad situation and abandoned to a worse one is real for us. So pardon me for being worried.

Mini rant over.

 

On another note, I have every adult’s worst fear in a single picture. Observe:

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We were down at the dollar store, went to pay for something but our card was mysteriously denied. Hmmmm… checked the balance and almost fell over.

Our balance was NEGATIVE eighty thousand dollars?! Ha, ha. Did someone mention heart failure? It turned out there was something wrong with the fafsa’s online controls and everything was fine the next day.  But really? I think the bad luck fairy likes us. Too much. I think she gets a raise if we have a heart attack before we die.

 

Last Hotel Hell post, I told you our refrigerator door fell off. Well, this month it died. Not the door – we duct taped that – but the entire refrigerator died.  And all our food went bad. So now we have to keep everything shoved to the back of the fridge where it stays relatively cool, and move the milk back and forth between the freezer and fridge so it doesn’t go bad.

 

Oh! Oh! And, in denial to the claims that all I ever eat is chocolate (*cough *cough) I have taken a picture of my lunch! Whatcha got now?

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Ha ha! See, I told you I mostly, sometimes balance out my diet. Really. Sort of. When I’m not eating chocolate, I’m eating  healthy, ok? Or at least 80% healthy.

If there’s one thing that I cannot wait to have money to be able to do, it’s try different foods. I love food. 😀

 

Mum dropped her phone in her chocolate milk. And I’M the clumsy one?

 

The shop beneath us locked their wifi, so we’d need their network key to use it. Sooooo, we bought a monthly wireless internet plan and hooked it up (because we don’t have a phone jack in our room). And it didn’t work. Apparently someone hit the tower in our town and it’s going to be down for up to three days.

See? Bad luck fairy strikes again.

 

ROAD TRIP

We went on a road trip sometime in May, or June, or July… Okay, one of those but I don’t remember which. Or maybe it was the beginning of August. I don’t remember. Regardless, we took a road trip.

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L to R; Dylan, Holly, Tannis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We burrowed someone’s car, since our truck eats gas like skittles, and drove four hours with Lucky in the backseat and drove each other crazy. Just kidding, we didn’t kill each other. It was a surprisingly relaxed day. Okay, so it wasn’t relaxed but we weren’t at each other’s throats with a pick axe, so it was a good day.

Whatever the case, I think the fresh air did Dylan some good.  Right up until he started glowing.

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Holly and Lucky had some bonding time. A couple of adorable Do Do Birds, aren’t they?

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I met an awesome crow, who had quite a lot to say. I’ll definitely be thinking of a way to include him in a future post – I got some hilarious photos of him.

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On the drive home, I took more pictures than I can count, but I especially like the bells lining the road. Why? I don’t know. I just do. Deal with it. 😉

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This one spoke words to me. No really, it’s telepathic.

I THINK the bells line the path the padres used to walk from mission to mission. But I could be wrong about that, as I don’t have Google to Google anything right now, I could be 100% wrong.

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Oh, and I put my hand in a bag full of maggots. Just had to share that. Yuck (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

 

Be not afraid, blog-o-spherians. No bad luck fairy is going to keep me from you. Not a snowball’s chance in Hell.

 

Do you like crows? Are you clumsy? Do you know what those bells are? Is the Bad Luck Fairy infatuated with you?