I Am Moving

Hiya! 😃

Sorry for my absence lately. It’s for a great reason though!

I am moving apartments!!!

 

Our neighbors moved out and their apartment was completely re-done. Their pipes connect to ours and both our pipes are collapsing in on themselves. So the owner moved us into the newly re-done apartment. Otherwise, they’d have to tear up the newly done flooring and walls in the living room and kitchen.

Whereas our apartment was crawling with roaches (as you well know). Dude they had gotten baaad.

Crawling while we’re sleeping, in all our foods, living in our trashcans, our fridge. Breaking our microwaves, blotting out the numbers on our alarm clocks. Burrowing into our thousands of dollars worth oak furniture. A nightmare.

I had to keep my underwear in Ziploc bags. 😑

 

Since I was born, our family has moved twelve times. We have it down. Figured this would be easy, as usual.

And then we had to move without carrying cockroaches into our new and sealed off apartment…😵

Which is taking FOREVER. Literally. We are six days in. And not done yet.

But I am SO EXCITED!!! Because NO MORE COCKROACHES!!!!!!!!!!!!

😀😀😀😀😍😍😍😍

 

But anywho. 

My presence here will be pretty sporadic for the next week as well.

No worries, I’m not disappearing. 

Just drowning in roaches, cleaner spray bottles, paper towels, and rubber gloves.

 

One totally cool thing, though, check it out…

I put on some cheap glue-on fake nails. I went that route because they are extremely cheap and don’t hurt my nails as much as acrylics. Not that I’ve ever had acrylic nails. They seem like way too much work. But I can’t stand constantly painting my nails, chipping them, filing them, re-painting them, etc. Plus these fake ones will sound amazing for ASMR. I feel kinda goofy for totally loving something so goofy and girly, but yeah, I’m totally loving it. Kinda a little in love.

Can you be in love, a little?

I dunno about that.

They are just nails so I don’t know that it really matters.

Also, I need more sleep. 🤪🤪

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Ode to the Roaches

On the first day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
A cockroach in a spare key.

On the second day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
Two crawling bedrooms,
And a cockroach in a spare key.

On the third day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
Three hours internet searching,
Two crawling bedrooms,
And a cockroach in a spare key.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
Four exterminators,
Three hours internet searching,
Two crawling bedrooms,
And a cockroach in a spare key.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
Five new roach generations,
Four exterminators,
Three hours internet searching,
Two crawling bedrooms,
And a cockroach in a spare key.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
Six bushels of bay leaves,
Five new roach generations,
Four exterminators,
Three hours internet searching,
Two crawling bedrooms,
And a cockroach in a spare key.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
Seven types of roach spray,
Six bushels of bay leaves,
Five new roach generations,
Four exterminators,
Three hours internet searching,
Two crawling bedrooms,
And a cockroach in a spare key.

On the eight day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
Eight boxes roach traps,
Seven types of roach spray,
Six bushels of bay leaves,
Five new roach generations,
Four exterminators,
Three hours internet searching,
Two crawling bedrooms,
And a cockroach in a spare key.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
Nine hours of no sleep,
Eight boxes roach traps,
Seven types of roach spray,
Six bushels of bay leaves,
Five new roach generations,
Four exterminators,
Three hours internet searching,
Two crawling bedrooms,
And a cockroach in a spare key.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
Ten thoughts of arson,
Nine hours of no sleep,
Eight boxes roach traps,
Seven types of roach spray,
Six bushels of bay leaves,
Five new roach generations,
Four exterminators,
Three hours internet searching,
Two crawling bedrooms,
And a cockroach in a spare key.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
Eleven new pairs rubber gloves,
Ten thoughts of arson,
Nine hours of no sleep,
Eight boxes roach traps,
Seven types of roach spray,
Six bushels of bay leaves,
Five new roach generations,
Four exterminators,
Three hours internet searching,
Two crawling bedrooms,
And a cockroach in a spare key.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my new town gave to me,
A bag of diatomaceous earth
And the roaches died
Finally!

 

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Roaches Everywhere

I don’t want to go to bed tonight.

There’s cockroaches just waiting to crawl all over in it with me.

…..

Have I told you of the roaches?

NO!?

Why then!

*rolls out story teller mat*

LET ME LET YOU KNOW.

 

I am a sleep deprived crazy person already.

Moved into these apartments years ago.

Suddenly?

 

ROACHES EVERYWHERE!

 

Roaches in my sink.

Roaches in my chair.

Roaches in my shoes.

Roaches in my hair!

 

Under my bed.

In my dog’s water bowl.

On my ceiling.

On my paper towel roll.

 

On my shirt.

In the bathroom.

In my underwear drawer.

Killing my vacuum.

 

Covering the stove top.

Covering the herbs they apparently hate.

On my keyboard as I type.

On the rice I almost ate.

 

Hiding on the toilet paper roll.

In my Scooby-Doo mug.

On the spoon I just cleaned.

Hiding under the edge of the rug.

 

Charging for my food.

Running at my feet.

Running up my leg.

Running toward me, let me repeat!

 

Inside my fridge.

All over my eggs.

Inside my bookcase!

Did I mention crawling on my legs?

 

Jumping off the wall.

Into my food.

Interrupting my shower.

Extremely rude!

 

In my nightmares.

I can’t sleep a wink.

Inside my alarm clock.

I can’t afford to blink.

 

Under my pillow.

In my purse.

I’m considering a bomb.

If this gets any worse.

 

I’m spraying mint oil.

I’m cleaning real well.

I’m spraying tea tree oil.

I think I may be in Hell.

 

My cabinets are moving.

Swarming and swimming.

My skin is itching.

My sanity, thinning.

 

And sometimes at night.

If I said I didn’t cry.

While trying to sleep.

It’d be a definite lie.

 

On the computer.

On the tv.

Sitting on the toilet.

Did I mention they’re on me?

 

Crawling along the carpet.

Oh and on my face.

Let me just tell ya.

I’ve got roaches all over the place!

 

 

You want proof that I’m being driven slowly insane by roaches?

I JUST WROTE A BLOODY RHYME ABOUT THEM!

*who does that???*

 

Did you know cockroaches bite? And they particularly like eyelashes?

Yeah.

Creepy crawly things with no fear, and I mean no fear! They’re ballsy little dudes. They aren’t afraid of humans at all.

We’ve tried spraying, fogging, natural determents. They get worse!

The high school, a few different apartment complexes, and hotels around town are all having problems with them. And they’re spreading to the houses that back these buildings.

It’s a nightmare and a half.

So if you hear in the news that some crazy lady tried killing cockroaches in her apartment with a shotgun…. it wasn’t me. I swear.

 

Any advice? Anyone else ever dealt with these nasty things which survive radiation?