Stream of Consciousness

State of Shadowy Affairs

I deleted my Instagram account.

I’ve been spreading myself too thin. With my blog, twitter, my ASMR YouTube channel, new YouTube channel, writing my novel, writing bedtime stories for my ASMR channel, working, handling my increasingly messed up health, and then – you know, life….

Too much.

I don’t like repeating myself across social media platforms because I feel like that’s fake or pointless. I like to share honestly regardless of where I’m at. And finding a way to be me across that many platforms is not doable for me. It’s made it hard for me to post at all, anywhere. Especially since no one site will show a true depiction of all of me, considering I don’t want to be repetitive.

So I cut down and thought I’d take the moment to share what I’m up to…

 

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This Blog

I don’t spend enough time here. I haven’t gotten to do any fun research posts lately because I’m so spread thin.

Gonna have to fix that!

Plus you guys kinda have no clue what’s going on in my life lately. Since this is my blog and all about human connection, that doesn’t really make sense to me. So I’m going to have to remedy that too.

 

ASMR YouTube Channel

I posted my first ASMR video on January 18th, 2019. For those of you scratching your head and wondering what on earth ASMR is….

ASMR is weird. Flat out strange. I do ASMR and I love it but I recognize that it’s legit so weird! It is a bunch of people doing weird things, using odd objects to make sounds on and around microphones.

ASMR stands for “autonomous sensory meridian response”. Think ocean waves, the sound of someone’s soothing voice lulling you to sleep, a subtle and calming white noise, or birds chirping off in the distance. ASMR is like the satisfaction of having your hairdresser massage your scalp or playing with a Zen garden. The “happy little trees” painter Bob Ross is often considered ASMR.

Some people experience a pleasant tingling sensation in their scalp, neck, and down their spine. (That’s why a lot of ASMR videos talk about “tingles”.) Others don’t. Some people just find it highly relaxing or use it as background noise to help them focus. Different people like different sounds and/or visuals. You will often hear these referred to as “triggers”.

You can find my ASMR channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTsKcCRmmrImwt8soT1SRFg?view_as=public

 

New YouTube Channel

I started this channel and actually started using it, like, last week. The point is to talk about things, whatever things I feel like talking about. It’s going to be busting with loads of different types of stuffs.

Sometimes I just want to talk to you guys in a video.

You can find this new channel here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTC53mhzwfRmk5WY1O2p0fA

 

Twitter

I haven’t been on twitter in eons. I really want to get on there and be me way more often. I don’t know why, but I tend to be hesitant to say what I’m thinking 100% on there. I think it might be because of how political it can be, and that’s not my thing. But it does seem to get people in a defensive, angry way of communicating and I don’t want to deal with drama.

But whatever. I need to learn to be me and not worry if anyone has a problem with it.

My twitter handle is: @DaphneShadows

 

Bedtime Stories on ASMR

On my ASMR YouTube channel, I’ve started doing something new. I’m going to make bedtime stories and whisper them or speak softly to tell them.

Doing them for ASMR presents quite the challenge but also an interesting bucket of possibilities. It’s not exactly the same as writing a novel because the language has to be more flowery and repetitive for ASMR and the story doesn’t have to be as strictly structured or paced. So it’s an odd change to make. But fun, so far.

Here is my first video:

I’m also working on a second bedtime story with a different feel to it, while working on chapter two of the above story.

 

My Novel

I haven’t worked on my novel in a month now. Everything has stopped moving in my life because my health has gone downhill and I’ve been in too much physical pain to focus on anything. I’ve literally lived on my couch, crying and trying to breathe.

I really want to get back to my novel. I’ve plotted the basic timeline of the story out and written the first two chapters, getting myself up to a word count of over 13,000 words. (A normal novel of my genre is 80,000 to 100,000 words.)

And I want to share some tidbits about my story with you. *evil smile*

 

Work

Do you remember when I was terrified I’d never have a job I liked and be able to hold it down with my health?

I now work 5 hours a day, Monday through Friday, 25 hours a week as an office manager for a technology company – and I love it. I get along with all my coworkers and both bosses (what are the odds, right?) and I enjoy my work. I get to organize things all day. It’s perfect!

I started on March 26th, 2019.

 

Life

I’m all jacked up! And it would take quite a while to catch you up. So let’s not spend the rest of this post yammering on. I’ll get to me in the future.

 

How are you doing?

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Stream of Consciousness

Weird Dream

I had the strangest dream the other morning.

 

I was asleep in a house with my entire family. They were in the living room together. I was down the hall in my room, half asleep. This was our home, had all our stuff in it, and only our family lived there.

Lebron James walks out of the room next to mine and goes into the living room, dripping annoyance as he says, “If Daphne doesn’t wake up soon, we’re not going to be able to watch the movies.”

 

Weirdest dream ever.

Seriously.

I dream about people eviscerating other people; creatures chasing vulnerable people and attacking with sledge hammers and foot long, thick fangs; falling in love with (very attractive, human looking) aliens; the world ending with just me and my dog left; falling, hitting the ground, and flying.

I wake up and think woohoo! Great story ideas, hurry up and write this down.

But that?

Definitely my oddest dream thus far.

I don’t even watch basketball.

I don’t know anything about Lebron James except that he plays the game!

 

Since I started taking medication for depression and anxiety I’ve been dreaming. A lot. I didn’t used to dream except now and again. They started out really uncomfortable bad dreams, but now they’re great for my creative writing self!

 

Had any strange dreams lately?