Tag: Daphne Shadows

Fun Stuff/ Research

feeling your emotions & mental breakdowns

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Feeling my emotions, instead of STUFFING, IGNORING, DENYING, or PRETENDING THEY DON’T EXIST… is hard for me.

Not surprising.

Our society hardwires into our minds that to FEEL… to SHOW human emotion, makes us weak. Which hurts. And we have to ignore a LARGE part of who we are. What makes us human. It’s like taking a knife and severing part of our identity off.

Which never ends well.

So, I started a new YouTube channel and I’m trying something new. I guess I’m trying to help others with the thing I know I need.

A series of videos, every Tuesday, on helping us develop the #1 healthiest coping skill – being able to NAME our emotions. But how do we bloody do that WHEN WE’VE STUFFED WHAT WE FEEL TO THE POINT THAT WE DON’T KNOW WHAT WE FEEL?!?!

That’s the point of the series. So if you’re interested in emotions and other uncomfortable self-awareness, here’s the first video in my series, where I break down what we’ll be learning, what process we should do for at least 30 days, and how I’m going to help, starting next Tuesday.

Anywho.

I thought I’d share it here, because, well, this has been the place I come to BE emotional. And I thought maybe you’d find this helpful. *shrug*

Shadow Poetry

Blood & Salt

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I have days
Where I wish
I wasn’t

My fingertips
Burning
With all this
Broken belief

Broken mirrors
Full of dreams
I naively
Dreamt

There are all
These rules
Where I just
Don’t belong

My soul
Is a song
No one wants
To sing

Hope is
A betrayer
A siren song
Sweet lullaby
Sweeping in
To caress

Only,
I don’t see
Until it’s too late
The charcoal claws
Coming for
My soft underbelly

Carving out the warmth
Leaving me hollow
In bed sheets
Wet with blood and salt
Tears I didn’t know
I had left

No porcelain grave
To weep for
My loss

I am barred
From slumber
Repreive

I am begging
For magic
On my knees
Before the abyss

When I’m honest
Alone with
The helpless child
And monster
In me
I wish
I wish I wasn’t

by Daphne Shadows

Shadow Poetry

physio logical

Daphne Shadows2 Comments

remember to breathe into the still moments

the ones decorated with your tears, hiding in the background

the small ember of hope, dancing just out of reach

they’re waiting for you

to see them

touch them

remember to breathe into the painful moments

the one’s teaching you something, scars leaving behind your map

the large expanse of needing, underneath the floorboards

they’re built in

already used up

but renewable

remember to breathe into the forgotten moments

the one’s that broke you, leaving breadcrumbs behind your eyes

subtle hiccups of laughter and sunshine, as winter douses your flames

they’re lovely

love letters

savour them

remember to breathe into the unwanted moments

i know they hurt, but you’re stronger than their framework

your foundation is made of pillow talk and early morning dances

you can do this

they whisper

keep going

remember to breathe into the silence

and when it comes, you will be ready

to hear its brilliance

written inside

your bones

By Daphne Shadows

Micro Stories · Shadow Poetry

lift

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the wind whispers through your embrace. heat strangling the darkness with lace. and they forgot to look for you. should have done so when the lights were on. to be honest, they thought your light would be gone. give it a few days as they pursed their lips and dropped poison down the line.

but we can all see you now. waiting on the horizon, darkness draping you ablaze until it’s hard to look at you. harder to look away. all their hushed gatherings, blood in the drain… for nothing. not even they could hide the brilliance of your silhouette.

not with a thousand nooses. not with a single lie.

traipsing around in ringlets and finery, death shrouds at their wrists. even they stood in awe when night fell. you’d won when they’d counted on you coming undone.

its dangerous to forget. the waves can only erode so many bodies. their secrets can only hold so many people down. until someone remembers you.

a single voice to wake your truth. then nothing can hold you back.

insidious breath never smothers the live fire.

By Daphne Shadows

Stream of Consciousness

Sit Like a Lady

Daphne Shadows2 Comments

Bite your tongue!

Do as you’re told.

You should smile more.

You don’t belong here.

Nice girls don’t get angry.

I need it.

Grin and bear it.

Don’t be ungrateful. Do as he said.

You were asking for it.

Sit like a lady.

NO

Shadow Poetry

you

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You tiptoed into my soul without my say so, slinging all these empty glass jars out of my closet and into my rib cage, breaking the siren song of eternal silence against the wall of this slippery, pumping, bloody mess that keeps me alive.

That’s a falsity. You didn’t tiptoe. You brushed your fingers through the sand, dug them into my scalp, kicking up all these embers until I was choking on the smoke of my own madness. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it.

I don’t know if I should smile ’til you’re on your knees or batter up and swing, let you burn inside my skin or bury you under your audacity to waltz into my heart.

So I’m standing on a doorway, sleeping under a fence, waking in between, drowning in the liminal. Fire dripping off my lips, teeth bared, trying to get a hold on reality. there’s a blurry sign somewhere but I’ve gone blind under the weight of the unknown. patience isn’t my thing, you see. dangerous, to make me wait.

I am neither walking on sunshine nor hunting the darkness to render my nightmares broken and this is confusing to me. I am not that way on a normal day.

So what’s me? The parts you don’t see:

I’m a wild animal, sweet and carefree until you realize I’m a predator and you’re all alone, where you’ve given yourself over to me, signed before you saw me. straight for the kill and you’ll learn. oh, you’ll learn. I am a wildfire you asked for but didn’t expect. I am the lightning scorching the darkness in the tornado outside your door. I am sweeping the blood from your veins and sending mmmmmm down your spine. I am the monster gripping your breath as you slide your feet back under the covers in the middle of the night. I am the last thing you feel, an inch of steel in your throat, before you can’t open your mouth anymore.

but

you

and suddenly, I am…

I am unsure if I’m going to hurt because of you or love you

I guess it depends

on you.

A letter to myself.

by Daphne Shadows

Shadow Poetry

coiled

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I am a live fire or flatlining and nothing else.

I am broken glass and feathery down.

Starless night and sun soaked waves.

I am everything that aches when no one is looking and radiant joy in moments unspoken.

I am here. An empty memory I cannot remember. A boundless emptiness pretty much anyone with the right key can find.

By Daphne Shadows

Shadow Poetry

patchwork stitchwork

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do you remember?

before the veil? beyond the pale?

do you remember?

after the fall? when you took it all?

i remember

how she swept the night. rigged the fight.

i remember

when you stole my blood. left a letter in the mud.

i can’t tell you

for the chain on my heart. my pain is your art.

i’ll learn

from every new stroke. i’ll fix what you broke.

i’ll make one that’s new

one that sees me, not you.

by Daphne Shadows