I Have a Better Question

Do you ever feel like a marionette?

The daily to-do’s and responsibilities as your strings?

Only they’re made of steel. Filling up your eyesight and jerking you from here to there. Yet leaving you oddly hollow, skin tight, eyes forcing themselves to stay open through what begins to feel like a meaningless shuffle for a cardboard crowd.

That’s how I feel today.

Tired.

Pointless.

Where’s the joy for life? The promise of something better?

Some days I feel like no matter how hard I try to climb my way out of this revolving door – I’m still here.

Still fighting.

For more.

Something better.

 

What to do?

I mean, we have so many options.

We could always give up, give in. Let depression bury us in a myriad of distractions, mind-numbing things we do because it’s what we always do and we’re just so tired and change is hard.

We could let anger turn into bitter resentments. Become a nasty human who only spreads misery, always has a reason to martyr themselves or explain why they’re not responsible or how it’s someone else’s fault.

We could go the illegal route. Hurt or exploit others for money.

We could slap on a fake smile and pretend everything is just dandy while inside we slip further and further into oblivion. Lying to ourselves.

Or we could keep fighting.

Hoping.

Trying.

Looking for the positivity.

Doing what we can.

Enjoying the little things.

The little successes.

Keep finding a reason.

 

You see, I think we search too much for the meaning of life.

We’re here. I think that’s all the proof or validation that we need.

I think the point is to live our own life as best we can, treating ourselves with dignity and love, and then trying to help others.

I think our purposes can change as we do. But if we’re not really living life, then we’re not living up to our potential.

 

Enjoying life is easier said than done.

I’m still depressed, sitting on the couch, wondering why I bother to write, since I haven’t finished a novel I like yet and haven’t been published yet and simply lack for direction in my life.

But it’s a low day for me. I recognize that. Yesterday was a great day. And the day before that. I’m going to exercise in less than an hour from now and I know that always elevates my mood. I still feel like I’m running on a hamster wheel, though.

The reason I’m telling you this is, I think we can feel so stuck, so miserable, and fight for so long – that it feels like nothing will ever change. That we’ll never fight our way to the top of our own struggles.

But we will.

We already have.

What was so hard to you three years ago that felt like it would never end? Something you’ve conquered?

We’re stronger than we think.

We’re allowed to feel tired and depressed and sick of always having to fight for what seems to come easily to others.

We just can’t let that keep us from living and enjoying our own lives in whatever healthy ways we can.

 

Everything is easier said than done.

There are days where we question the point of our existence. But I have a better question.

What’s the point of giving up?

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Stop Asking Why – We Already Know

You want to know why.

You make fun.

Make jokes.

Demean.

 

I think it’s because we know the “dream” isn’t real.

We’ve been told there’s no hope.

Don’t follow your dreams. Get a good, solid job that will pay the bills.

Don’t even bother trying to do anything you enjoy. It won’t happen. Following your dreams, working toward making them a reality, that will end you up alone, living in the gutter, and dead as a no one, with no one at your funeral.

We’re told that in order to survive (have money for college, have a place to live, have the support we need to have a chance at surviving at this life) we need our parents’ financial support. And more and more I’m seeing that parents use this to berate, manipulate, and abuse their children. But their children can’t do anything but what their parents’ desire or else. Or else no money for college. No place to live. No way to live.

We’re told by society that there is no way we can find a life we want. There is no way that we can attain the body we want, the job we want, the relationship we want. We’re told there is no healthy relationship, no enjoyable job that also pays the bills, no way to enjoy food and not be fatter than a Wall-E person (kid’s movie, google the humans at the end if you don’t know what I mean).

 

I know that I can only know what I’ve experienced. I only have the information from the lives within my world and the life I’ve lived. But how can I know so many people of all ages, genders, beliefs, social classes, etc., and we’ve all had the same experiences?

I’m not bashing on any one people or generation. I’m saying, look around. We’re not falling apart at the seams. We’re tearing each other apart and if anyone says anything, oh, they’re being dramatic. Cue eye roll.

 

We’re not people-ing right, people.

We’re taking brand new babies, grabbing a megaphone, and screaming into their faces that there is no point to life – get a job you can use to survive, and don’t expect to not be stressing over having enough money to survive.

We’re brainwashing each other that life sucks and that’s just how it is.

“Those” people – you know, the ones who went for their “unrealistic” dreams and took the risks of following their dreams and are now living quite happily – they only happen every once in a while, and we’re not good enough to ever attain that. So don’t bother trying. You will fail.

 

We ask why there are so many people living in their mothers’ basements, playing video games and refusing to get a job and deal with life.

We ask why there are so many grown adults living with family.

We ask why there are so many men and women who spend every dollar on distractions.

 

Because we’ve been told we can never have a fulfilling, healthy, joyful life filled with meaningful relationships and times of peace. Instead, we’re told…

Everyone has the right to our every moment (we had better answer our phone immediately).

Everyone is better than us.

Work is the only point of life (so don’t bother trying to have a life – just work, and never expect to get paid enough to do much more than struggle not to drown).

Love hurts, settle for whoever will put up with you.

You can’t change. Don’t bother trying. It doesn’t matter that you want to grow and become – you’re who you are and can never gain skills or successes.

Life sucks. Don’t fight it.

 

Can we stop asking why so many people are sleep walking through life and committing suicide.

Can we stop making fun of people for having mental health issues, employment issues, for living with family, for trying to escape the life they’ve been told will never amount to anything and will always 100% only hurt.

Can we START treating each other with respect, dignity, and compassion?

Can we START lifting others up, filling them with the strength to create the lives they want to live?

Can we START influencing people to tap into the potential they have lying dormant within themselves?

Can we START valuing people and dreams and belief?

Can we START making life worth living?

 

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