Flashlight for the Soul

My apartment?

Has Halloween decorations already. Even the front door currently sports a pumpkin welcome sign.

I love Halloween. The spook factor, the decorating, the fun. There’s an atmosphere, a vibe to Fall and Halloween that, for me, is intoxicating.

I’ve loved it since I was a wee mongrel.

I grew up watching creature features and immersed in Halloween joy. I’ve always lived in stories inside my head with the monsters, with the unaccepted and frightening things.

Halloween feels like home.

…aaaaaand so, the celebrating begins.

 

Here’s my reasoning.

Christmas Eve is an actual part of Christmas. Following that line of thinking, September is part of Halloween.

September is, after all, October Eve. And October IS Halloween. Making September Halloween Eve.

Makes sense in my world.

 

We all need something to shake the dust from the joy and creativity in our souls. We sometimes pack it away or put it on a shelf, forget what it feels like to be alive.

Its the little things. The flashlights into the darkened corridors of our rib cage where things hide that we need to wake up again.

Don’t feel silly for enjoying things, even if others find it silly.

It isn’t silly. What brings us joy is never silly.

 

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Dominate and Eradicate Self-Hate

Good morning. 😃

I do hope you are feeling well and know you are loved.

I’m getting ready for work and simply wanted to pop by and remind you that you are fabulous!

You can totally crush this day. Whatever is presented to you – whether new or old hat, easy or something you’re not certain you can do – you can do it.

You are worthy, good enough, lovable, capable, and stronger than you give yourself credit for.

After all life has thrown at you, you are still here and trying. That means you have a 100% success record.

Never give up on yourself. Even if others do. You keep stretching toward your dreams and hopes and never compromise your standards and values.

You are not alone.

We have got this.

Soul Under Construction

I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was.

– Sade Andria Zabala

I used to think I understood this quote. On some level my soul recognized its truth, and I knew it meant something for me. A blurry old friend I never remembered making but KNEW I was intimate with even if I didn’t recognize their face.

I get it now.

Because the Second One is Complicated

Here is the third painting I have done.

I did it while hanging out with mom and watching the movie “August Rush”.

Let me tell you, artists are pretty insanely intelligent. There’s a magic to painting something. It frees up the soul, erases the weight straining it down.

Try something out of your typical creative field. Trust me. It fills you up with inspiration.

And don’t worry about being “good”. Just have fun. I’m no Monet but I’m certainly going to keep painting because of the way it makes me feel.

Open Up

Some people will tell you, you’re not enough, not worthy.

They are wrong.

You are beautiful. You are good enough.

Open up. Be vulnerable, even if you get hurt. Don’t sign yourself up for getting hurt. But don’t close yourself off from everything real because it risks the sting of a broken heart.

You have an undeniable boatload of potential.

You are eons of life stuffed into a small carry on that people want to stuff in a box and ignore. They’re afraid you’re brilliant.

Be brilliant. Be you.

My Reality

Is pretty goofy sometimes. Intense other times. But I’m still a whole being. Wholly me, no matter how many contradictory moods I exist within.

We are born to feel a spectrum of emotions, become a spectrum of moods and current motivations and dreams.

Never feel you have to exist within one box. There are no boxes, except the ones societal rules create for us.

But we are infinite flurries of majestic and chaotic energies rushing in and out of the forms we choose.

We are flourishing in madness, we are taming our own sanity, create when the world tries to destroy.

We are not only good enough, we are more. We can be goofy and sexy, serious and humorous, spontaneous and responsible. Interested in animals and racing, dancing and botany, literature and painting. We never have to pick a box.

Be you. And if you is a little weird, so be it.

Because goofy filters are SO much fun. 🤣

Love Letter

Whatever you feel you cannot overcome, you can.

Whatever you feel you can’t survive, you will.

Whatever you feel makes you weak, can make you strong.

Whatever you fear makes you unlovable, makes you human and relatable.

Whatever challenge in your life feels like it will never end, it will.

Whatever or whoever has left you feeling empty and hopeless and broken and incapable of picking yourself back up so that you can keep going… it doesn’t matter what or who it is, they cannot win. Because you are so much more than who you were yesterday, then what you feel in this moment. You are so much more than your fears for tomorrow and the anxieties that you wake up to.

It does matter how afraid you are. How filled with worry you are. How much pressure you feel. It does matter that you feel terrified to fail, to let someone down, to let yourself down. It does matter that you feel alone or empty or broken.

Everything you feel matters.

But what you feel is what you feel. Your emotions are not your identity.

Do you notice yourself thinking, “I am angry”? That’s not accurate. You are who you are. You feel anger. That anger does not define you.

So when you feel broken. You are not broken. You are simply resting and recovering and grieving and preparing. You are growing stronger, gaining new experience, learning what does not work, building an extra layer of skin.

Every time you feel like you cannot keep going, you can.

I am not saying it will be easy. I am not saying there are any magic words that will take all the pain away and make you feel strong and in control and “all together”.

What I’m saying is, stay true to yourself. If you feel exhausted, you have the right to feel exhausted. Allow yourself to feel that. But it doesn’t define who you are. It’s simply defines what you’re in the process of overcoming.

Do you ever take a look at what you’ve already overcome? At the situations and relationships and challenges in life that you thought were impossible or would never end? You’re here now. You overcame them. They ended.

You can do this.

You can fight for the life, the job, the relationships, the identity you want.

But you have to believe you deserve it. I’m here to tell you that you do. You deserve all the beauty this world has to offer you.

But you also deserve all the suffering it has to offer to you. Because there’s no way for us to get strong if there is no pain involved. There is no growth if some part of us does not grow old and stagnant and die.

There is no rebirth if part of us doesn’t die first.

The pain will end. You will continue to get stronger. You can find a way to navigate this life and still enjoy it.

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