Stream of Consciousness

Stop Asking Why – We Already Know

You want to know why.

You make fun.

Make jokes.



I think it’s because we know the “dream” isn’t real.

We’ve been told there’s no hope.

Don’t follow your dreams. Get a good, solid job that will pay the bills.

Don’t even bother trying to do anything you enjoy. It won’t happen. Following your dreams, working toward making them a reality, that will end you up alone, living in the gutter, and dead as a no one, with no one at your funeral.

We’re told that in order to survive (have money for college, have a place to live, have the support we need to have a chance at surviving at this life) we need our parents’ financial support. And more and more I’m seeing that parents use this to berate, manipulate, and abuse their children. But their children can’t do anything but what their parents’ desire or else. Or else no money for college. No place to live. No way to live.

We’re told by society that there is no way we can find a life we want. There is no way that we can attain the body we want, the job we want, the relationship we want. We’re told there is no healthy relationship, no enjoyable job that also pays the bills, no way to enjoy food and not be fatter than a Wall-E person (kid’s movie, google the humans at the end if you don’t know what I mean).


I know that I can only know what I’ve experienced. I only have the information from the lives within my world and the life I’ve lived. But how can I know so many people of all ages, genders, beliefs, social classes, etc., and we’ve all had the same experiences?

I’m not bashing on any one people or generation. I’m saying, look around. We’re not falling apart at the seams. We’re tearing each other apart and if anyone says anything, oh, they’re being dramatic. Cue eye roll.


We’re not people-ing right, people.

We’re taking brand new babies, grabbing a megaphone, and screaming into their faces that there is no point to life – get a job you can use to survive, and don’t expect to not be stressing over having enough money to survive.

We’re brainwashing each other that life sucks and that’s just how it is.

“Those” people – you know, the ones who went for their “unrealistic” dreams and took the risks of following their dreams and are now living quite happily – they only happen every once in a while, and we’re not good enough to ever attain that. So don’t bother trying. You will fail.


We ask why there are so many people living in their mothers’ basements, playing video games and refusing to get a job and deal with life.

We ask why there are so many grown adults living with family.

We ask why there are so many men and women who spend every dollar on distractions.


Because we’ve been told we can never have a fulfilling, healthy, joyful life filled with meaningful relationships and times of peace. Instead, we’re told…

Everyone has the right to our every moment (we had better answer our phone immediately).

Everyone is better than us.

Work is the only point of life (so don’t bother trying to have a life – just work, and never expect to get paid enough to do much more than struggle not to drown).

Love hurts, settle for whoever will put up with you.

You can’t change. Don’t bother trying. It doesn’t matter that you want to grow and become – you’re who you are and can never gain skills or successes.

Life sucks. Don’t fight it.


Can we stop asking why so many people are sleep walking through life and committing suicide.

Can we stop making fun of people for having mental health issues, employment issues, for living with family, for trying to escape the life they’ve been told will never amount to anything and will always 100% only hurt.

Can we START treating each other with respect, dignity, and compassion?

Can we START lifting others up, filling them with the strength to create the lives they want to live?

Can we START influencing people to tap into the potential they have lying dormant within themselves?

Can we START valuing people and dreams and belief?

Can we START making life worth living?




Stream of Consciousness

How to Live

I’ve been shoved under the impression that if I felt emotion, became emotional for any reason, even if I was completely justified, I had reason to be embarrassed, ashamed.

Stupid, right?

Pretty damn.


Seeds + Water = Blossom. Water = Emotion.
Seeds + Water = Blossom. Water = Emotion.


You’re born. You exist.

And what is the point of existing, again?

To live.

How do you live? For starters, you cannot merely ‘exist’ if you want to live. You have to really live your life.

So where’s the how-to -manual?

There isn’t one. You just have to live. Day by day, heartbeat by heartbeat. And its bloody hard.

Its centered around one thing. You. And not the superficial you that you present the world.

What’s inside you? What you feel, what you desire, what gets you out of bed smiling and apprehensive and motivated in the morning. It’s that twinge of happiness inside and comforting excitement that zings through you as you think about what you’re about to do, where you’re going, why your day has meaning to you, purpose.


Life is hard. Life sucks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. I get it better than most. I’m living it. I’m twenty-one years old and I’m more jaded and realistic than people twice my age.

But I’m also optimistic, stubborn, idealistic, driven, a dreamer, and persistent. I know what I want and I cling to that. I hold tight when everything’s gone to hell and back and checked back in with its not-so-seasonal-pass. I smile. Regardless.

And that’s a pretty good way not to lose yourself. Don’t let go of those deeply imbedded desires, dreams, needs, wants, those things which you know make you – you. They define you, drive you. And they only go away if you burry them, and even then, they’re still inside you, buried – sure, but there nonetheless.

Ignore a wound, it festers. Ignore who you are, and the results will be more deadly. You’ll exist. But you will never live.


Balance. It's helpful. Get some.
Balance. It’s helpful. Get some.


Find your balance. Don’t be overemotional or let your emotions rule you. But don’t smother them either. Live your life. It’s kind of pointless if you’re wasting your breath. Lungs only work so long. Everyone dies. I want to live before it’s my time to shake hands with death.


If you’re ashamed of being healthily emotional, you might as well be ashamed of being human. Lemmings are so much more agreeable.


To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

– Oscar Wilde


It’s really freaking hard to live!

You have to fight tooth and nail to ask yourself who you are and why and if you’re in accordance with what and who you want to be and where you want to be headed on a daily basis. You have to keep yourself in check. I find being honest with myself about why I’m doing what I’m doing and taking into account what I want and why, is something I have to remind myself to do. I have to remind myself to think about it! It doesn’t occur to me to wonder what I want until I’ve already bypassed the whole thinking part of the situation. Then I’m left wondering, once again, how I allowed myself to become so brainwashed to the point that I never even take into account what I want or how I feel.

Don’t ignore your emotions. Months or even years later you’ll be living in a hotel wondering what you want to do. And you won’t know. You’ll be as emotional as your pillow, stuck, staring between your computer screen and the book you’re reading, wondering when you’re going to figure out what you’re supposed to do now.

You won’t know. You’ll have no direction. Because the you you smothered, won’t really exist any longer. Ironic, isn’t it?


Humans are meant to have motivations. Motivation comes from desires. Desires are emotions.

Just saying. I’d rather be myself during a hellish part of my life than to have a crap life and be breathing for absolutely no reasons of my own.

Unless you’re Barbie, life is going to suck, regardless. Doesn’t it make more sense to make sure it’s a life you want to live?


Ironically, getting a hold on your emotions gives you clarity, balance.
Ironically, getting a hold on your emotions gives you clarity, balance.