But Make No Mistake

There is no excuse for not trying at all.

It is the only failure.

Try.

You don’t need to try the most amazing, big, spectacular thing.

Try simple.

Simply don’t give up.

 

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Choose Struggle, Choose to Create

Pain is a given.
No one in this life will escape without hurting.
No one enjoys pain. No one orders up tests or trials in this life. No one jumps up and down in line, hoping they’ll get selected to have another trauma or misery, scar or issue to add to their life.
Doesn’t matter.
Pain is a given.

Within this pain, we have two choices. As always, we have to choose.

 

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ONE
Denial. Bury your head in the metaphorical sand. Seek distractions. Never live in your own body, in the present moment. Don’t work on your issues. Don’t face your demons. Never face your secrets. Hide. Avoid. Refuse to believe. Push others away. Refuse to grow, work on your failings (because we all have our failings).

TWO
We do the work. We struggle through our challenges and fail we may, but we get back on. We let go of what has died. We move forward to what we need. We learn from the past but leave it there. We take the punches as they come, and we figure out how to work around them, hit back, or turn everything upside down and create our own arena of war. We face our demons, our failings, our mistakes. We learn from them and we learn how to destroy shame, turn it into something brilliant and vibrant.

If we choose option one, all we feel is the pain of this life.
If we choose the second option – yes, we’re going to feel pain. But we also get this spectacular, miraculous, gorgeous, chaotic, mess of joys and peace, possibilities and these amazing experiences we never thought possible.

We always have the option to either create or destroy our own life.
Pain is never an option in this life. It’s a given. Why not go through pain to grow, change, and become, so we can then experience joy, peace, and the ability to thrive? Passiveness isn’t going to get us anywhere. No one enjoys treading water, playing the waiting game. No one enjoys hurting for nothing. Well, no one enjoys hurting, period. Gather your hopes, dreams, touchstones and friends. The pieces of yourself that anchor to your very soul. Pain will come regardless. But please, don’t allow it to rule your life. Live through it until it breaks open to magnificence. This life is livable if we choose to stretch past what we think we can do.

 

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We Are All Cracked

A water bearer carried 2 pots from the river to her master’s house every day.

One pot was perfect, carried its load easily and without issue.

The second pot wore a crack.

By the time the water bearer got to her master’s home, the first pot would be filled to the brim with water, just as when she filled it at the river. The second pot, however, would only be half full, having leaked water the whole walk home.

This second pot was ashamed of its imperfection. It often wondered, “why not replace me?” One day it asked, humiliated and feeling ever so lacking.

The water bearer smiled kindly, lovingly. She said, “As we walk home, watch the flowers on the side of the path.”

The pot, in it’s misery watched the flowers along the side of the path, glumly resigned to a life of being worthless. I’m sure the cracked pot wondered why watching flowers could help anything. Along the way, it noticed there were only flowers on it’s side of the path. The pot carried on her other side, which leaked nothing and boasted perfection, had no flowers to watch go by on it’s side of the path.

When the water bearer arrived at the master’s home, she told the cracked pot, “You see, I knew you had a crack. I planted seeds on your side of the path and you watered them each day. I then pluck the flowers and beautify the master’s home with them each week.”

 

 

God loves us, cracks and all.

I love this story.

 

We all leak. We all have weaknesses, all make mistakes.

We still bring beauty to the world around us if we try our hardest to do so.

 

I just recently had hallucinations, you guys! It was crazy. But I was aware that I was hallucinating so it wasn’t so frightening. I did have to call in sick from work the next day though. Which sucked. But it happens.

You see, I was given a certain pill and had a monumentally horrid reaction. Eventually, not getting enough sleep, (even for me, having insomnia on and off), I ended up hallucinating.

Ha! Crazy experience!

What I’m getting at here, is this…

 

…I have a lot of health issues. They caused me to have to quit my full time job of construction. I now work part time and am searching for other part time work.

At the moment I cannot even buy my own food or my baby’s food (my dog).

I have quite a many cracks and, like the pot, there is nothing I can do to sew them up, to quit leaking. I cannot change how I was born. I can work toward a healthier life, yes, but I cannot change my health. I cannot slough off the debilitating depression or anxiety or exhaustion that shuts down my ability to focus or think properly (due to CFS), I cannot do anything about any of my health issues – and get another full time job and go to work like a normal, healthy person with stability of body and mind.

 

 

Often times I have felt like the cracked pot, ashamed of my weaknesses and inability to function like a hard working member of society.

But I’m now certain, somewhere along the way, the leaking I’ve done has allowed something wonderful to grow.

In the past month, I’ve realized, I am hard working. I am working crazily hard. With my family, helping others, attending my callings in life, writing, working part time, and coping with my limitations as best I can.

What more can I ask of myself?

 

We are all imperfect. We all have issues.

This is, of course, is only one part of my life. But I’ve shared with you so you can see how I can focus easily on what I cannot do, and woe over my incapacitates to have a purpose.

Or I can realize that by leaking, I’m helping flowers grow.

I am helping with much else in my life and the lives around me.

I have purpose.

I am loved, regardless.

 

I am cracked. We are all cracked.

We are lovable, regardless.

 

The Pre-Epiphany Woes of Daphne Shadows – A Fortunate Series of Events

Okay kiddos – here we go. Here is my ooey gooey ultra soppy life’s story. NOT. I don’t know how to write one of those.

Anywho; a couple people have expressed interest in the details of how my early attempt at getting published smacked me around like I was a fly at a barbeque. Okay, so they didn’t put it that way. But they do want to know what I’ve done with my writing and what I’ve claimed to have learned from the whole ordeal.

Then I realized, duh – I decided to start a blog. People are going to want to know things like that! Right. So here you have it…

 

 

 

 

 

Twelve years old, while everyone else slept, I sat down on the top stair and began to write down an idea for a novel. Yes, I know that sounds very creepy. No, I had no ulterior motive for being awake whilst they slept innocently on, unaware of the mayhem and plotting unfurling in my scrambled brain… I was simply pacing the stairs when inspiration struck and I sat my butt down and wrote as it directed. I ended up creating the world and bare bones plot for my first manuscript.

Then, obviously – oh I don’t know – I wrote the novel. 😉 Just, not in that one night. It took years. F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to be truthful.

Years later (see – years!) while in high school…

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