while i’m having a mental breakdown, i’m just going to leave this here for you
i took them a few weeks ago and about a year ago
i’m trying to find my way back to myself through creativity
i’m trying to find myself with the only lifeline i’ve got left – that something else, that passion that bites into your blood and wakes you in a lovely frenzy, certain you can take a sword to whatever stands in your way, that aliveness which i haven’t felt in so long
i’m grasping at strands and holding them to my chest until they grow into something more, something thicker, something that crawls into my pores and seeps into my muscles, binding with my bones until i’ve become
until i’ve become
well… apparently i had something to say today
here’s those photos i promised up at the top
This is Trickster #2 in a series of trickster posts. No clue how many I’ll write because the freaky dudes and dudettes keep popping up out of the woodwork. There’s a cache of tricksters awaiting us, an assortment, quite a batch, an assemblage, a cluster, a regular caboodle, a glorious assortment. Absolutely tricksters galore, a lavish abundance, overflowing and concealed. We have tricksters plentiful to pick from, soak in, and learn from.
Strap in crazies, we’re in for a strange, sometimes odd, but always fun ride. It’ll be entertaining at worst. At best, you might meet a beastie you like.
Greek and Roman
In Greek mythology, his name is Pan. In Roman, he’s Faunus (sometimes Inuus). These two tricksters do differ in the two separate mythologies a bit. At the end I’ll throw in a few tidbits about Faunus where he’s different than Pan.
Strange and Dual Beginnings
Son of Hermes (also a trickster) and a nymph (why isn’t she named, you misogynistic myth writers?).
There’s also some talk of Pan being the offspring of other gods, leading to him being the grandson of Cronus. In this version of the tale, he popped out fully formed with horns and goat feet, which freaked out his mum, who hightailed it, abandoning him. Hermes found him and carried him to Olympus, where he lived with nymphs. I don’t think he minded. In fact, in most versions, Pan very much appreciated being surrounded by gorgeous nymphs aplenty.
In some versions of how Pan came to be, he is said to be the offspring of Uranus and Gaea. (Gaea being the personification of the earth we live on.)
Whatever the details, Pan was always a heavy hitter.
He’s human-looking except for the goat legs and horns. He isn’t, however, a satyr. He’s Pan. In some Greek art, he is shown as being fully goat though. I guess the Greeks couldn’t make up their minds where he was concerned.
Pan is a confusing dude but balances out well, as he is upbeat and playful, then dark and terrifying. I suppose this goes along with his being half divine, half animal. One foot in a playful, fun world, the other in a riotous, tricky one. He’s also known to be prophetic now and again.
Plato even calls Pan “the double-natured son of Hermes”.
A man of strangely unrelated pastimes, Pan enjoyed chasing nymphs and creating musical instruments.
Interesting little tidbit, he was god of flocks, which included bees.
Yep. He guarded bees. Does anyone else have a great mental image of a goat-man deity fanning bees out of hunters’ paths?
No? Just me?
As A Trickster
Pan was a mischievous creature. He was lustful, playful, loud, and wild through and through. He was known for playing tricks on humans in the forests. So much so that humans feared running into him when traveling through his homelands.
He was often seen kicking it with Dionysus, the god who can be summed up as follows: wild, riotous, frenzied, madness.
When not hanging out with crazy gods, he was running after nymphs, literally. Pan was an extremely lustful trickster. Most often the desire of his heart thought him ugly and refused his advances. Depending on where you look, some sources say that Pan tricked nymphs into having sex with him, while another claims he had a broad torn apart by shepherds when she refused him.
From what I can find from actual texts, Pan is simply alone and rejected by all the women he wants. In one example, Pan was after the nymph Syrinkx but she didn’t want anything to do with him. In order to escape Pan, she transformed into river-reeds, which Pan then used to create his pipes.
Pan was also considered the god of panic, hedging him further into trickster territory.
A run in with this trickster is dreaded by travelers, for fear seems to be something Pan frequently created. Makes sense, considering he was said to have such a terrifying voice that he scared the Titans themselves.
The word panic is said to be derived from Pan. He liked to create noises in the forest at night which would freak people out. He is also said to cause irrational, sudden fear when someone is alone in the forest (or alone at all). He could cause panic that would spread across soldiers in an ongoing battle as well. Useful.
As to why he would cause such feelings, no one knows. But if you’re ever alone at night and feel the hairs raise on the back of your neck, blame this dude.
Here, the Pan character was known as the Italian Faunus.
He began as a fruitful god over crops and flocks and became a woodland trickster. Faunus eventually became a universal god of sorts.
I do like how it was mentioned that the sound of the forest was Faunus’s voice. Random but totally cool.
In February in Rome, the Italians would run around during a fertility celebration in goat skins and swing around strips of goatskin. Because yeah, Faunus was basically about fun parties and ladies. He always remained an agricultural god but also became connected with hunters.
Faunus was mentioned specifically as a creature who was the “author of spectral appearances and terrifying sounds”. It sounds like he was a bit more mystical than Pan.
On the Fence
When it comes to this trickster, I’m not too certain I like him. He’d make a good villain to terrify the hapless traveler in the woods. But that’s about it. If I wrote a story with this character as a good guy, I’d probably change him around a bit, capitalize on the panic and fear inducing properties. I’d definitely strip him of the rapey vibe.
This woman obsessed, riotous trickster needs therapy and a hobby that doesn’t include following other people around. Just saying.
However, in others’ opinions, Pan is simply noisy, playful, and happily bouncing about in all the wild places of the world.
As always with tricksters, it’s up to us. Or perhaps, up to whichever lesson we need to learn.
“Mythology Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes” by Edith Hamilton, Grand Central Publishing, 1942.
Copyright Daphne Shadows. All Rights Reserved.
This Month’s Recap: we were given a week to get out of Hotel Hell, we called tons of people but were turned down even though we have no money. Down to four days to get out and a miracle struck. We secured the next two months and told everyone we were safe. People started rolling their eyes and insinuating we freaked out for attention. I got a little opposite of happy.
I made use of my flamethrower. =D
We didn’t know we’d be able to stay. We thought we’d be out on our butts and we were one dilemma away from a nervous breakdown. If you think we’re being ridiculous, answer me this question. When was the last time you thought life was leaving you without a place to live? Better yet – when was the last time it happened four times in a row and all anyone did was roll their eyes and call you drama queen? The threat of being kicked out of a bad situation and abandoned to a worse one is real for us. So pardon me for being worried.
Mini rant over.
On another note, I have every adult’s worst fear in a single picture. Observe:
We were down at the dollar store, went to pay for something but our card was mysteriously denied. Hmmmm… checked the balance and almost fell over.
Our balance was NEGATIVE eighty thousand dollars?! Ha, ha. Did someone mention heart failure? It turned out there was something wrong with the fafsa’s online controls and everything was fine the next day. But really? I think the bad luck fairy likes us. Too much. I think she gets a raise if we have a heart attack before we die.
Last Hotel Hell post, I told you our refrigerator door fell off. Well, this month it died. Not the door – we duct taped that – but the entire refrigerator died. And all our food went bad. So now we have to keep everything shoved to the back of the fridge where it stays relatively cool, and move the milk back and forth between the freezer and fridge so it doesn’t go bad.
Oh! Oh! And, in denial to the claims that all I ever eat is chocolate (*cough *cough) I have taken a picture of my lunch! Whatcha got now?
Ha ha! See, I told you I mostly, sometimes balance out my diet. Really. Sort of. When I’m not eating chocolate, I’m eating healthy, ok? Or at least 80% healthy.
If there’s one thing that I cannot wait to have money to be able to do, it’s try different foods. I love food. 😀
Mum dropped her phone in her chocolate milk. And I’M the clumsy one?
The shop beneath us locked their wifi, so we’d need their network key to use it. Sooooo, we bought a monthly wireless internet plan and hooked it up (because we don’t have a phone jack in our room). And it didn’t work. Apparently someone hit the tower in our town and it’s going to be down for up to three days.
See? Bad luck fairy strikes again.
We went on a road trip sometime in May, or June, or July… Okay, one of those but I don’t remember which. Or maybe it was the beginning of August. I don’t remember. Regardless, we took a road trip.
We burrowed someone’s car, since our truck eats gas like skittles, and drove four hours with Lucky in the backseat and drove each other crazy. Just kidding, we didn’t kill each other. It was a surprisingly relaxed day. Okay, so it wasn’t relaxed but we weren’t at each other’s throats with a pick axe, so it was a good day.
Whatever the case, I think the fresh air did Dylan some good. Right up until he started glowing.
Holly and Lucky had some bonding time. A couple of adorable Do Do Birds, aren’t they?
I met an awesome crow, who had quite a lot to say. I’ll definitely be thinking of a way to include him in a future post – I got some hilarious photos of him.
On the drive home, I took more pictures than I can count, but I especially like the bells lining the road. Why? I don’t know. I just do. Deal with it. 😉
This one spoke words to me. No really, it’s telepathic.
I THINK the bells line the path the padres used to walk from mission to mission. But I could be wrong about that, as I don’t have Google to Google anything right now, I could be 100% wrong.
Oh, and I put my hand in a bag full of maggots. Just had to share that. Yuck (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).
Be not afraid, blog-o-spherians. No bad luck fairy is going to keep me from you. Not a snowball’s chance in Hell.
Do you like crows? Are you clumsy? Do you know what those bells are? Is the Bad Luck Fairy infatuated with you?