Kill the Roaches

One roach

Two roach

Three roach

Bonjour.

 

Four roach

Five roach

Kitchen’s a dance floor.

 

Six roach

Seven roach

Eight roach

War!

 

Nine roach

Ten roach

DIE!

*ahem*

I mean –

Nevermore.

 

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Roaches Everywhere

I don’t want to go to bed tonight.

There’s cockroaches just waiting to crawl all over in it with me.

…..

Have I told you of the roaches?

NO!?

Why then!

*rolls out story teller mat*

LET ME LET YOU KNOW.

 

I am a sleep deprived crazy person already.

Moved into these apartments years ago.

Suddenly?

 

ROACHES EVERYWHERE!

 

Roaches in my sink.

Roaches in my chair.

Roaches in my shoes.

Roaches in my hair!

 

Under my bed.

In my dog’s water bowl.

On my ceiling.

On my paper towel roll.

 

On my shirt.

In the bathroom.

In my underwear drawer.

Killing my vacuum.

 

Covering the stove top.

Covering the herbs they apparently hate.

On my keyboard as I type.

On the rice I almost ate.

 

Hiding on the toilet paper roll.

In my Scooby-Doo mug.

On the spoon I just cleaned.

Hiding under the edge of the rug.

 

Charging for my food.

Running at my feet.

Running up my leg.

Running toward me, let me repeat!

 

Inside my fridge.

All over my eggs.

Inside my bookcase!

Did I mention crawling on my legs?

 

Jumping off the wall.

Into my food.

Interrupting my shower.

Extremely rude!

 

In my nightmares.

I can’t sleep a wink.

Inside my alarm clock.

I can’t afford to blink.

 

Under my pillow.

In my purse.

I’m considering a bomb.

If this gets any worse.

 

I’m spraying mint oil.

I’m cleaning real well.

I’m spraying tea tree oil.

I think I may be in Hell.

 

My cabinets are moving.

Swarming and swimming.

My skin is itching.

My sanity, thinning.

 

And sometimes at night.

If I said I didn’t cry.

While trying to sleep.

It’d be a definite lie.

 

On the computer.

On the tv.

Sitting on the toilet.

Did I mention they’re on me?

 

Crawling along the carpet.

Oh and on my face.

Let me just tell ya.

I’ve got roaches all over the place!

 

 

You want proof that I’m being driven slowly insane by roaches?

I JUST WROTE A BLOODY RHYME ABOUT THEM!

*who does that???*

 

Did you know cockroaches bite? And they particularly like eyelashes?

Yeah.

Creepy crawly things with no fear, and I mean no fear! They’re ballsy little dudes. They aren’t afraid of humans at all.

We’ve tried spraying, fogging, natural determents. They get worse!

The high school, a few different apartment complexes, and hotels around town are all having problems with them. And they’re spreading to the houses that back these buildings.

It’s a nightmare and a half.

So if you hear in the news that some crazy lady tried killing cockroaches in her apartment with a shotgun…. it wasn’t me. I swear.

 

Any advice? Anyone else ever dealt with these nasty things which survive radiation?