Stream of Consciousness

Stop Asking Why – We Already Know

You want to know why.

You make fun.

Make jokes.

Demean.

 

I think it’s because we know the “dream” isn’t real.

We’ve been told there’s no hope.

Don’t follow your dreams. Get a good, solid job that will pay the bills.

Don’t even bother trying to do anything you enjoy. It won’t happen. Following your dreams, working toward making them a reality, that will end you up alone, living in the gutter, and dead as a no one, with no one at your funeral.

We’re told that in order to survive (have money for college, have a place to live, have the support we need to have a chance at surviving at this life) we need our parents’ financial support. And more and more I’m seeing that parents use this to berate, manipulate, and abuse their children. But their children can’t do anything but what their parents’ desire or else. Or else no money for college. No place to live. No way to live.

We’re told by society that there is no way we can find a life we want. There is no way that we can attain the body we want, the job we want, the relationship we want. We’re told there is no healthy relationship, no enjoyable job that also pays the bills, no way to enjoy food and not be fatter than a Wall-E person (kid’s movie, google the humans at the end if you don’t know what I mean).

 

I know that I can only know what I’ve experienced. I only have the information from the lives within my world and the life I’ve lived. But how can I know so many people of all ages, genders, beliefs, social classes, etc., and we’ve all had the same experiences?

I’m not bashing on any one people or generation. I’m saying, look around. We’re not falling apart at the seams. We’re tearing each other apart and if anyone says anything, oh, they’re being dramatic. Cue eye roll.

 

We’re not people-ing right, people.

We’re taking brand new babies, grabbing a megaphone, and screaming into their faces that there is no point to life – get a job you can use to survive, and don’t expect to not be stressing over having enough money to survive.

We’re brainwashing each other that life sucks and that’s just how it is.

“Those” people – you know, the ones who went for their “unrealistic” dreams and took the risks of following their dreams and are now living quite happily – they only happen every once in a while, and we’re not good enough to ever attain that. So don’t bother trying. You will fail.

 

We ask why there are so many people living in their mothers’ basements, playing video games and refusing to get a job and deal with life.

We ask why there are so many grown adults living with family.

We ask why there are so many men and women who spend every dollar on distractions.

 

Because we’ve been told we can never have a fulfilling, healthy, joyful life filled with meaningful relationships and times of peace. Instead, we’re told…

Everyone has the right to our every moment (we had better answer our phone immediately).

Everyone is better than us.

Work is the only point of life (so don’t bother trying to have a life – just work, and never expect to get paid enough to do much more than struggle not to drown).

Love hurts, settle for whoever will put up with you.

You can’t change. Don’t bother trying. It doesn’t matter that you want to grow and become – you’re who you are and can never gain skills or successes.

Life sucks. Don’t fight it.

 

Can we stop asking why so many people are sleep walking through life and committing suicide.

Can we stop making fun of people for having mental health issues, employment issues, for living with family, for trying to escape the life they’ve been told will never amount to anything and will always 100% only hurt.

Can we START treating each other with respect, dignity, and compassion?

Can we START lifting others up, filling them with the strength to create the lives they want to live?

Can we START influencing people to tap into the potential they have lying dormant within themselves?

Can we START valuing people and dreams and belief?

Can we START making life worth living?

 

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Stream of Consciousness

Find Your Wise

Okay, not wise.

Why.

*eye roll*

Forgive a goofy writer her wordplay.

*wink*

 

We’re pretty familiar with a situation like the following:

A person tells you how great you are.

You don’t believe them.

Said person is then miffed as to why you don’t believe them. Why can’t you see how awesome you are, they wonder.

 

Most of us have been on one end of this conversation. Many have been on both sides.

We’re living in a world where we hear things like the following much too often:

They kept texting her to kill herself, so she did.

He couldn’t make the pain stop any other way, so he jumped.

She buys all that stuff for the rush of feel-good chemicals.

He buys all that makeup because he thinks he’s ugly.

She won’t marry him because she thinks she’s too fat to be loved.

 

I hear all the time that my parents’ generation has a hard time believing in things like anxiety, depression, mood disorders of all sorts, and suicide rates.

I’m not here to figure out why suicide and depression and things of the like are on the rise. I’m not here to argue about what we need to do in order to stop them.

I’m here today to offer some insights on self-hate and what to do when you find yourself suffering from it.

 

If we are ever to stop allowing self-hate to color our daily behaviors, thoughts, motivations, etc., we first must figure out why we treat ourselves this way.

 

Why do we tell ourselves we’re fat, ugly, not tall enough, not skilled enough, that everything we’ve done is trash?

Why do we constantly talk to ourselves in our minds like we’re not worthy of love, respect, compassion, patience, etc?

 

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Our self-commentary can turn deadly. We know that.

So why do we do it?

The answers vary from person to person, year to year.

Perhaps we grew up in a not so great family situation.

Maybe the shouts of the plastic society we live in got to us.

Possibly something traumatic happened and we learned (incorrectly) that we were wrong, bad, or not enough.

There are an endless amount of variables and often times we find that there isn’t just one reason we treat ourselves so unkindly.

But we need to be willing to poke at ourselves, to peel back the painful layers of low self-esteem, low self-confidence, cruelty to self, and simple self-hatred, and pick at the reasons behind them.

If not, we’re not going to find the answers we need to move forward.

 

Now, don’t expect these answers to be logical.

More than likely, we’ll find our “why”s are emotional. Rooted in emotionally painful experiences, situations, upbringings, conditioned behaviors, and so on.

Don’t go looking for reasonable answers. Go looking for the truth.

 

I’d challenge you to write it out as you go.

Why do I treat myself this way?

Write down the reasons. Talk them out with someone you trust.

Do they seem less realistic now that you’ve shined the light of day on them?

I certainly hope so.

 

Accept that these are your reasons. That you’ve allowed these things to define you and the way you think about and talk to yourself.

You don’t have to approve of these truths.

Simply accept that they are.

 

Now congratulate yourself!

It’s insanely hard to look at these things!

But you are. You’re trying. That’s what matters, what counts.

We can’t pull out a weed and expect it to stay gone if we leave the roots.

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